A thousand little wars

This year has been quite a challenge for me both mentally and emotionally, i feel so drained out and completely out of energy, i cant seem to focus in school, nor can i manage to get through a day without thinking about one thing that is negative....

bad luck, bad choices i guess its all part of a learning process.

How i have managed to cope so far? i dont know, but i feel like i'm about to be closing another chapter in my life therefore this urge to close it and complete the story just drives from deep within. 

I have this longing for something more, something different than what i have right now, some may call me naive, but i have big dreams and i have to learn to not be afraid to fight them!

In the past year,specifically the past two months I have learnt that although life may seem like its horrible now, it just has to get better, because at the end of every thunderstorm there is always a rainbow.. 

but right now im not looking to find the end of the rainbow, im just trying to fight back against all my thoughts and feelings.. but it seems to be taking its toll on me.

time does not help, i feel like in this case, time makes it worse!  so what am i to do? im just yearning for the end of the year!!

This semester is going to end in a little over one month and for the first time in a long time i cant wait to hop into the taxi and head to Pearson airport and go on home to my family and friends and to the island which holds a big part of my life. Sri Lanka <3

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Summers over now, and i cant fathom the fact that it passed by so fast. During summer i could not wait for it to end, but now that the cold fronts coming round, i wish i could go back to living in a country with permanent summer.

Summer for me, was a very quiet one, i took summer school for the first half && then my family visited me for a month. That month was possibly the highlight of my summer, everything else is just bleh.

Here are some of my favorite pics which were taken over summer:

goodbye summer '10

another unsuspecting sunday afternoon

 I have lost all inspiration lately when it comes to poetry writing.. it seems like i constantly just keep going in circles, cos I simply can't seem to find the dedication to sit down and try to bundle together a bunch of lines and turn those lines into something special.

so besides poetry, i have been researching online for some tattoo designs, since i am without a doubt getting my 2nd tattoo in December when i head back home to Sri lanka.
My ideas include:

• a sparrow flying- which represents me constantly moving forward in life. (possibly 6 sparrows to represent each member in my family)
• lotus flower/ araliya temple flower- to represent sri lanka- where i grew up in for 15 years of my life
• if not a flower, then a Sinhalese letter perhaps..

so yeah, just another blog post on a random sunday afternoon where the skies refuse to show a hint of color..
storms have overtaken the day..

till the next post ;)

11000 fans sound like this!!

I still cannot shake off the euphoria of the concert,

Exactly one week ago today,at this very moment,I was waiting in line at the backstreet boys concert which was held downtown at the summer concert's arena, Molson amphitheatre. I was first in line again, and i could not wait to get inside!

The opening acts were both Canadian born. Dan Tavleski and Shawn Desman (who i just recently found out is the older brother of Danny Fernandes).

I wasn't a fan of Dan's work, but once Shawn was out on stage, he got the crowd as if he was the main act of the concert.. it was amazing.

sorry about the pic quality

Everybodyy,
yeah
rock your body
yeahhh.
everybodyyy
BACKSTREETS BACK ALRIGHT!

<3

i dont think anyone can resist smiling when they see this pic, they still look so GOOD

OVER 90 per cent of the crowd was female, and it appeared 100 per cent of them were ecstatic they were finally going to see The Backstreet Boys perform, including myself who waited 15 years to finally see them live.

The show opened up with a screen that lit up with a countdown timer of ten seconds. Everyone was out of their seats and screaming the minute the lights went off in the area, we didn't need a video to tell us that we needed to shout haha. 

I'LL never break your heart

 The Set list-

 =)

1. Everybody ( backstreets back)
2. We've got it going on
3. PDA
4. Quit playing games with my heart
5. As long as you love me
6. This is us
7. Show me the meaning of being lonely
8. All I have to give
9. She's a dream
10. I'll never break you're heart
11. The Call/ The One
12. Bigger
13. Shape of my heart
14. More than that
15. Undone
16. Incomplete
17. Larger than life
18. All of your life ( you need love)
19. Bye bye love
20. Encore 1- If i knew then
21. I want it that way
22. Encore- Finale- straight through my heart. 

Their boy band dance moves were impressive :P
Not many artists/bands nowadays are able to dance and sing at the same time, but the backstreet boys dance and sing live and it was astounding to note their breathlessness was barely registrable.

My fav BSB

"No matter how much people may cringe at boy bands, you have to admit there must be a reason for their success. If one person could relive their entire childhood and teen angst in one night that's what occurred.  It was a memorable night indeed."- taken off a review of the concert

Absolutely no one could have predicted just how much nostalgia one evening could bring.

Simple Truth?

i wrote this poem 2 years ago, possibly when i had so many questions unanswered in life..i really wanted to post this one here, cos its one of my favorite poems that ive written...

Everything happens for a reason people say,
but why is it that we never know what the reason is?

We tell ourselves, whats meant to be will be,
& if not then we should just move on.

We don't keep our hopes up,
for the sole reason of not getting them shattered.

Our destiny is already written,
all we need is the courage to hold on & see what it is.

Everyone wants answers in life,
i guess its just harder to find for some of us.

We love, then we get hate
We laugh, then we cry
We try, then we faill
We hope,then we give up
We scream && live life to the fullest

We breathe and then we die

Everything happens for a reason.

j' liebe you

in deutsch they say "ich liebe dich"
in french it is "j'taime"
i use the english version
but "i love you" just the same - unknown

redblack&white

Moving off residence was probably one of the smartest things ive done in a while..
here are some pics of my new bed room, decorated by my sister Phylis.. props go all to her ! except the curtains those were my pick! :)

All any girl really needs is large diamond earrings and a pink tank

Last thursday i missioned it downtown by myself at 3pm to go stand in line for lawn seats and i was lucky enough to be first in line to watch rihanna live in concert, all the trouble of waiting and stuff was all worth it in the end cos rihanna definitely exceeded my expectations of what she was capable of.

The theme the entire night was dark, military and it revolved around us being in rihannas dream, and she questioning whether it was real or whether she was really dreaming.

At 22, shes just 2 years older than me, but she's already got so much going for her.. im slightly jealous that we have to work so hard to get somewhere and dont see results until we are about 25 ish, but all these stars have the quick route to fame.. not that im saying i want to be famous..cos i dont think i could handle all the attention but you know just a comparison.

i loved all her costume changes which were mainly barely there 80's inspired outfits with large shoulder pads etc. (see pictures below )

it definitely was amazing, and i wish that i would have bought seats closer to the front of the amphitheatre, but this is only her first headlining tour so she will definitely come round again, then ill be sure to get front row seats!Besides she herself said that "she loves T.O, cos we got the best caribbean food"

my favorite part of the concert was a tie between when she performed fire bomb (which sadly my recording got ruined since i had jerry springer drama happening next to me on the lawn) and the time she sang the love the way you lie/airplanes/hate that i love you mash up..

her set list consisted of

• russian roulette
• hard
• shut up and drive
• fire bomb
• disturbia
• rockstar 101
• rude boy
• love the way you lie/airplanes/hate that i love you
• rehab
• unfaithful
• stupid in love
• te amo
• dont stop the music
• breaking dishes
• the glamourous life
• let me
• sos
• take a bow

Encore

• wait your turn/live your life/run this town
• umbrella

Change

the definition of loafing can either be good or bad, but the definition that i prefer is

"to pass time at leisure"